And now, for something completely different: as a slight deflection of the subject here, I will offer the following.
After a few years of having received almost no new humor, recently I have received an unusually high amount of humorous correspondence. I decided I will send this back out - but at a more controlled rate, offering a little more even distribution of one of god's gifts to man: laughter.
You must know this - I am a fan of dialects. Having grown up moving around our country, I learned very early to mimic and then adopt the local patois. This has also come in handy when learning foreign languages. I recently was referred to a quick-learn school for Chinese, and after reviewing the initial, introductory, material, I have to agree that it is absolutely brilliant. I don't think I have ever run across a method that offers the same insight! I have copied a bit of the introductory material here, for your enjoyment. You really should read these out loud, for the full impact of the brilliance of these quick translations.
English - Chinese
that's not right - sum ting wong
are you harbouring a fugitive - hu yu hai ding
see me asap -kum hia
stupid man - dum gai
small horse - tai ni po ni
did you go to the beach - wai yu so tan
i bumped the coffee table - ai bang mai ni
i think you need a face lift - chin tu fat
it's very dark in here - wai so dim
i thought you were on a diet - wai yu mun ching
this is a tow away zone - no pah king
our meeting is scheduled for next week - wai yu kum nao
staying out of sight - lei ying lo
he's cleaning his automobile - wa shing ka
your body odour is offensive - yu stin ki pu
great - fa kin su pah
give it to me baby - suk mai dong
who's been eating all the pies - yo fat wan ka